school/ colleage sms

School- a place where papa pays & son plays
life insurance- a contract tht keeps you poor all ur
life so tht you can die rich
nurse- a person wakes up to give you sleeping pills
marriage- a contract in which a boy loses his
bachelors degree & girl gets her masters degree

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Commerce professor asks the student: what is the most
important source of finance for starting business?
Student: “Father in law”.

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Terrorists have kidnapped our lecturers…
and demanded aransom of 500000 rs or else
they will burn them with kerosene…
plz donate. i have donated 15 litres.

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Teacher: Agar apna character sudharna hai
to sab auraton ko MAA kaha karo.
Student: Madam is se mera character to theek rahega,
par mere baap ka bigad jayega

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PRINCIPAL: Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein
gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine,
2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI: Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu.

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Impact of Movies:

Teacher :- Who is Mahatma Gandhi?

Student:- He is the one who helped
Munna Bhai to impress his girlfriend!

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Sir: Name an animal which lives in land & water
Santa: Frog
Sir: Good! Now name 3 such animals
Santa: Frog’s mom, frog’s dad & his son.

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Sir: bacho dunia m har bat k 2 matlab niklte hai

Girl: masterji nikal k dikhaiye.

Sir: Baith ja kudie,
teri baat k b do matlab nikalte hai

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Boy: Why did Gandhiji have no hair on his head?

Teacher: Its sign of intelligence…

Boy: Now i understand y gals have so long hair!

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Teacher: soniya tera sapana kya hai?
Soniya: chand par chadana….
Teacher: rahul tumhara sapna…?
Rahul: soniya par chadana…

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Class Rooms r like Train
1st 2 benches r Executive Coaches-Reserved for VIP
Middle 2r Genral Compartment
N Last 2r Sleeper Class

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SANTA Class Me 1 Donkey Le Kar Aaya
Tacher: Iss Ko Kyu LaYe Ho?
SANTA: Sir Aap ne hi to Kaha Tha Ki Aap
Gadhe Ko Bhi Insan bana dete ho..

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I had so many arrears when i was studying.
Now i own microsoft.
My mates who’s no arrears r my employees!
-Bill Gates

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Sir to Student:
“What is the full form of MATHS?”
student thinks hard & answers,
“Mentaly Affected Teachers Harming students” !

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Teacher: Gandhi Jayanti k baray mein kya jantey ho?
Stdnt: Gandhi solid aadmi tha,
par maa kasam apun ko ye nahi malum k ye Jayanti kaun thi.

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Papa- Beti 12th K Bad Kya Karogi?
Beti- B.B.A Karungi.
Papa- Wat is BBA!
Beti- Boyfriend Ki Bike Pr Aish ..!

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A girl comes late to class
Teacher: Why ru late?
Girl: 1 boy was following me.
Teacher: so what?

Girl: d boy was walking very slowly!

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DAD went school to get son’s report card.
BUSY MADAM:Abi nahi
DAD: To phir kab aaun me?
MADAM: Mere “periods” khatam hone k bad.
DAD: Wowh!

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Maths Teacher- If U Had
1000Rs In One Pocket And
1000Rs In Other Pocket,
What Wud U Think?
Pappu- I Think Aaj Galti Se
Papa Ki Pent Pahenili